Why was I late? Short answer: I'm short.
Long Answer? Ya' sure you want to hear about my morning? OK THEN!
For some reason, the cat box was extra disgusting last night,
which made me have to scrub it out instead of just dumping it,
and meant I had to go outside in the rain to find the hose,
which was un-hooked so I had to use the spout next to the house,
causing a river of cat pee run under the fence and into the driveway,
which was waiting for me this morning by my car when my pants hem came loose,
then making the bottoms of my pants get soaked in cat pee,
which made my entire ride to work almost unbearable,
forcing me find a stupid Walmart since they're the only ones open before 8am,
to then fetch a pair of pants, knee highs and shoes for $60,
which I put on in a disgusting Walmart Bathroom and rushed to my car,
only to notice the pants were WAY, way too long (or I too short) and looked ridiculous,
which caused me to rush back into Walmart into the disgusting ladies room,
to then wash the bottoms of my pants in the sink,
which caused strange looks from WALMART shoppers at ME for a change,
while using the hand dryer as a clothes dryer,
which dried my pants,
that now smelled clean,
that held the receipt
to a pair of ill-fitting pants
that I had no time to return,
and THAT……
is why I was late this morning.
