It had been one of those days. Woke up late, with a cramped neck, rushed to get in and out of the shower and all the hot water was gone. Reached for a towel and there wasn't one. Went to get dressed and realized I'd left what I wanted to wear in the washer and it never made it to the dryer. Dug through the piles of clothes I had yet to put away to try and find something else to wear, but everything I picked was either too small (not that I'd gained weight, heh heh) or I'd finally find something that fit, but it was covered in friggin cat hair. I was supposed to be to work in 15 minutes!
Just before I had a meltdown, I remembered I had a bag from JC Penney with a new pair of jeans that I was planning on returning in it. (because once again their sizes were all wrong of course.) I tore open the bag and threw on the jeans, threw on a blouse, used some duck tape to get some of the cat fur off, grabbed my keys and ran out the door. I wish I could say the day got easier after that, but it pretty much remained to be "one of those days," The copier jammed, the servers crashed, the traffic sucked and my neck was still cramped.
By the time I got home, I was exhausted. We had plans to go out to dinner with friends that night as well. I shlepped (that's my favorite Jewish expression, even though I'm Irish, I pronounce it quite well) to the bathroom to "refresh" myself. Sitting on the pot, with my pants around my ankles, and my hands on my forehead, I noticed my legs looked a little blue. Hmm. That's strange. I know the waist was a little tight, but it couldn't have cut my circulation off THAT much. Hell when I was a teenager I wore skin tight jeans all the time - never cut my circulation off before. And I had to lay on the bed to zip those suckers up!
This was wierd. Were my legs tingly? I thought so - maybe a little tingly. Maybe I should stretch them out. I went out to the living room and showed my husband my legs. "Hey hun....hey check out my legs - I think I cut off my circulation or something?". He came out and agreed, that was strange. He said to walk around a little, get the blood flowing. Then he said, "Hey, your neck and forehead look a little blue too!"
I ran to the mirror. The last thing a hypocondriach needs is affirmation something is wrong with them. Sure enough, I had blue streaks on my neck and on my forehead! Was I losing oxygen? I jumped online to look it up and the internet said I definately had a lack of oxygen. Heart attack, stroke, blockage, a million reasons I was dying. Suddenly I did feel like I couldn't breathe very well. And my arms and legs felt so tingly. Was I having a heart attack? A blockage? OMG! I'm blue! I'm dying! I started to hyperventalite!
My husband said "C'mon, I'm taking you to the hospital!" I felt like I was going to faint. Seriously weak, Oh my God, this was it. I said "Ok Ok, let me just get some pants on, I can't go to the ER in my underwear!" and I hobbled my way to the bathroom for my pants. The new pants. That's when it hit me. The brand new, dark, navy blue jeans. That had not been washed. That I put on with wet skin that morning....That must have.... and I rubbed my sore neck.... and my stressed out forehead... and it.... made me blue.
